OVERWHELMED BY PASSION

I thought I was invincible… but I soon realized how wrong I was. I thought that my feelings were temporary. I didn’t know if I was suffering from a short-spurt of emotions or something more. I can’t “relax” knowing how much there is that needs to get done, like a constant cycle of being overwhelmed by how much there is to do, to the point that I have a hard time getting any of it done, a vicious cycle that goes on and on without stopping like a dark void as it consumes you inch by inch …

STAGE 1: PASSIONATE BUT SUBMERGED

“From my perspective” it happened as a result of my egotistical self trying to satisfy my hungry, craving soul. A desire to educate leads to dedication, which motivates you to do more and take on additional responsibilities. The burnout cycle began with this … which led to negative coping mechanisms and low self-efficacy.

STAGE 2: BECOMING JADED

Stage two may be the first time I’ve experienced true exhaustion. I began to pour my heart out at what I did at that time which resulted “SOMEHOW!” to feeling guilty for “not doing well enough” and an extreme level of stress overall.

STAGE 3: APPROACHING EXHAUSTION

I started to believe that being a good person is impossible. This stage made me believe that the status of work is the fault of everyone else but me. I continued to take on too many responsibilities and overextend myself to a point that I felt isolated, paranoid and felt like the establishment’s goals and my personal goals will never meet.

STAGE 4: BREAKDOWN

Level four is pure survival mode, that left me digging deep to look for my initial passion once again. Words CAN NEVER describe the feelings at that point.

STAGE 5: ROAD TO RECOVERY

I slowed down, and began to make conscious efforts to do some inner work. I started jogging and made sure not to complicate things. Hell, I went back to writing again! I’m feeling good again and I feel lucky and blessed to have met people who actually helped along the way. for them I’m forever grateful …

Too be Continued …